When a man’s ways please the Lord,

    he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

Proverbs 16:7 ESV

This is another of the proverbs that may cause one to question its accuracy. Or, to question our own fidelity to the Lord. Have you been in that spot where you are at odds with someone, and no matter what you do he/she will not be reconciled? And by “no matter what you do” I mean you have apologized, you have released the person from guilt/blame, you have accepted your own responsibility for the breach, you have prayed, you have begged God for help, you have repented before God, etc., etc., etc. Yet, reconciliation never comes.

On the one hand we might be tempted to say, “we must remember that proverbs are general truths, not iron clad guarantees.” And that is true, but sometimes leaves us feeling a bit empty. On the other hand, we can look at the bigger picture and see that “The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble” (Proverbs 16:4).

If we have done everything imaginable to be at peace with an adversary and that person will not reconcile, then perhaps they are among the wicked and are playing their part. We can be confident that even in the midst of trials and hardships, we are called to be kind and generous, even to our enemies. Perhaps, that is an area in which God desires us to grow, so he is not bringing about reconciliation.

Would you be okay with that scenario? If not, why not?

“All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,

  but the Lord weighs the spirit.”

Proverbs 16:2 ESV

One of the things this verse identifies is the amazing ability of man to justify himself. This may happen in a few ways: first, by shifting the blame for a wrong committed to someone else; or second, by (intentionally or unintentionally) not recognizing our own sinfulness.

The first is the easiest to see. I don’t want to take the blame for something I have done, so I point at someone else. Or, while acknowledging that I actually did the wrong, I present a laundry list of reasons why it wasn’t really my fault. Sometimes that comes out as, “If you hadn’t done [X, Y, or Z], I wouldn’t have done what I did.” In essence, I’m saying it’s your fault that I did wrong.

The second category seems to be the more difficult to notice due to the challenge of recognizing the sinfulness of our own hearts. In other words, we think too highly of ourselves. Jeremiah 17:9 addresses this: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Sometimes we simply don’t see it and at other times we attempt to deceive ourselves (and others). A sign of growing in Christ is an increasing recognition of our own sin and a willingness to take ownership of it.

The astute reader should have noted already that even though I may (intentionally or unintentionally) deceive myself about my sin, “the Lord weighs the spirit.” He knows. He knows. He knows the truth. “The eyes of the Lord are in every place keeping watch over the evil and the good” (Proverbs 15:3 ESV). Since that is the case, why do we not readily acknowledge our sinfulness, then repent? That’s a rhetorical question.

May God give each of us the grace to recognize our own hearts, readily acknowledge our sin, then repent without delay.

“Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished.”

Proverbs 16:5 ESV

One irony of this proverb is that those who are arrogant often consider themselves to be an asset to God, someone God should be happy to have around. In reality, the opposite is true; arrogance is disgusting to God … and often to people, too. Speaking from experience, arrogance causes a blindness to one’s deficiencies. Perhaps the first sign of arrogance is the inability (or unwillingness) to recognize any flaws, weaknesses, or sin in our own lives.

Another irony in this proverb is related to the assurance of punishment. So often we have our own image of what punishment looks like and find ourselves wondering when is God going to punish that arrogant person. However, the punishment for being arrogant may come in a variety of forms, some of which we may have never considered. Therefore, we should not presume to dictate to God how he should mete out punishment lest God consider us to be arrogant. In other words, we should “stay in our own lane,” focusing on our own hearts.